Helpin hand

Sorry for the 2 days of absence.. I was involved in a high profile job that involves writing a statement of purpose for sachin tendulkar to join Mr. Mallya’s team and play for the kannadigas. Initially Sachin wanted to join the force india but after I explained to him that it is not possible to sit out of races stating injuries, he agreed to stick to what he knows best.


The master blaster had earlier used a sop to get into the Yorkshire team. Apparently his English friends had helped him out. But wen he sent the same sop to Mallya he refused to accept stating that the sop was beyond his level of comprehension and also stated that it was dull and uninspiring. This leads us to today. The champions league is approaching and Mumbai Indians are nowhere near. In fact rumour is that the KKR and MI teams have not been given the complimentary tickets that they usually get from the BCCI. Now we know its only due to recession and has nothing to do with their performance of lack of.


Comin back to the topic, I gave tips to sachin on improving his appeal so as to be able to join the tired(tried) and TESTed team(bad joke :p). Here is a list of pointers u shud give to a master blaster wen he is lookin to retire and settle down in life.


1. Stick supermodel photos on the file cover and keep ur sop inside the envelope.

2. Try to stick to bad English. If u cant write bad English take help from ur old friend kambli.. Wat are friends for?

3. Make sure everything is red in colour. Including fonts, signatures and supermodels’ attire.

4. Highlight the fact that u have more test centuries than any other test batsman.

5. Argue that your strike rate is almost as slow as Dravid and hence u deserve to be in the team.

6. Make comparison’s with dravid for anything and everything including no of ads and national team captaincy.

7. Include your physio’s details and insist that he join the squad with his wife and 2 kids on all tours.

8. If rejected for batting shortcomings, resend application saying u can bowl better than tinu yohannan.

9. Make sure u convey the fact that you can run faster than boucher, are lighter than kallis and definitely field better than wasim jaffer.

10. Most important of all is for u to imply in every line that u are married. This serves 2 purposes. It sends a msg that u r looking to save and hence earn more. It also shows that u wont be personally involved with the teams ambassadors namely deepika padukone, Katrina kaif, Ramya and upendra.. (upendra? Seriously? Get real dude..).


So, now that sachin has followed my advice and sent the sop to Mallya’s office in Milan, I hope he gets a positive result.(fingers crossed).

All the best dude..

U guys take care.. if u need some expert help, u know whom to contact;)

Cheers..