Naxalism and unemployment

Are 2 major issues that Dr. Manmohan singh discusses everyday with his dog when he takes him/her for a walk. Its serious. People are unemployed because they are naxals and people become naxals because they are unemployed.
Here is some stuff i believe is the Criteria for being a naxal, i got it in one of the numerous useless mailing lists that i joined. and yes that includes everything u think it does.
1. Must be unemployed
2. Must have experience at a local prison
3. Must attend the NSB session and pass with good grades.(NSB is National School of Brainwashing, for those of you who don’t know).
4. Must love the jungle life and be willing to use leaves in place of tissues.
5. Must not have the urge to order a pizza home delivery.
6. Must believe in brotherly love and strive for peace in within the colony and unrest outside of it.
7. Should know to use the internet to download entertaining stuff for co-workers.
8. Preference will be given to people who can create awareness about the stated naxal organization by creating a website, writing a blog or by recommending his/her friends.
9. Preference to people who believe the day begins at 9 p m and ends at 7 a m
10. Should be Flexible with timings, Flexible with duration of job/life(whichever is early).
So it is clear now that who can become a naxal and who can’t. Basically is a losers job to go into the jungle and live in this age of ultramodernisation. I hate the celebrities who go into the jungle to get a few bucks and then say get me out of here. What gives? Hopeless I say.
That done with, here are some reasons why I think those who are unemployed now are unemployed.
1. Bad luck
2. Not qualified enough
3. Strategically born in the era just before the great recession.
4. No tolerance towards physical work.
5. Ignorance of HR dept all over the globe.
6. Inefficiency of the stated candidate to land the deal.
7. Failure of a great new business domain.
8. Crashing stock markets
9. Rising food prices
10. Good for nothing skillsets.
If you manage to read carefully through the above article, it shows that I really do know more about naxals than about the unemployed. Tough luck guys but I jus cant think of reasons enough. Lets jus say this is the era of have fun and they year of awesome. We really cant get back this lost time. So might as well enjoy the crap out of it.
Cheers.